How To Love Yourself More
How To Fall In Love With Yourself
Estimated Read Time: 5.5 minutes
The marketing world and social media may use Valentine’s Day to adorn their pages with loved up couples and happy, smiling faces. But what about those of us who need to learn a little bit more about self-love?
Did you know that out of the hundreds and thousands of thoughts we have per day, 60-70% of those are usually negative!? In a world that tells us we need something else (whether that’s a product or another person) in order to feel loved, we at Cel are here to remind you that that’s simply not true!
All you need is You (and yeah, perhaps with a dose of encouragement and willing too, but primarily you!) to learn how to fall in love with yourself and feel valued and cherished every day!
How To Love Yourself More: First Things First, Take Responsibility
If you’re feeling like you could use some more self-love in your life and you’re finding yourself desiring to learn how to love yourself again, then it’s time to step up and accept the responsibility of that! No one is going to, or can, do that for you.
You are in charge of all the choices you make, the things you do and the time you spend. Therefore, you can ultimately start to learn what choices are going to make you happier and take the responsibility to implement them! If you’re reading this blog, enough is enough, right? Let’s start now!
How To Love Yourself Again: Acceptance
If you searched the hashtag “self-love” into Instagram, you’d probably be faced with loads of skincare products, bubble baths, holidays and smiling people (with perfect teeth!), giving the impression that self-love is about being constantly optimistic and exuding positive energy.
Well, self-love is more about acceptance of who you truly are, which includes the messy bits! It’s about actively forgiving yourself for past mistakes or regrets, understanding where negative feelings truly come from (like jealousy or anger), and accepting that you are a perfect, flawed human being just like everybody else!
If you’re unsure how to make peace with your entire self, past and present, consider trying out some counselling or talking-therapy. Therapy can help you sound board and allows you space to understand who you are better. It can also kick start any healing from past events that may still be niggling away at you, restricting your ability to blossom and grow! Invest in yourself and your happiness by making friends with yourself first.
How To Love Yourself More: Learn What You Need & Who You Need
You need to work out what gives you joy and start doing more of it!
If work fills you with dread, what do you look forward to doing at the end of the day? Do you feel fulfilled after socializing with friends? Do you enjoy the endorphin hit after you’ve worked out or been for a walk? Do you love reading bedtime stories to your kids or playing with your dog? Actively try and work this out for yourself, making notes of things that bring you joy, and then start consciously doing them more!
And, if this means joining a club, spending a little of your savings, or blocking some time out in your diary away from work or the family, do not let anyone criticize, blame or make you feel guilty for doing so. If it’s suggested that that’s selfish or silly, by your own brain or someone you’ve told your intentions to, ignore them.
Prioritizing yourself for a few hours a week makes us feel good, and feeling good enables us to be better and a more present friend, parent, colleague and partner. Learning how to love yourself will benefit all of those in your life once you are in that better place.
If people are negative towards your positive progression, it’s time to summon a little confidence, and either step back from those relationships or have a conversation with them about it, if you feel comfortable enough to do so.
Refocussing and prioritizing relationships with those who are encouraging of your self-love journey, and spending time with those that make you feel good about yourself, will additionally help reinforce positive thoughts and remind you that you matter, have worth and deserve to feel loved.
"Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It is sanity." – Katrina Mayer
How To Love Yourself Again: Get Good At Being Alone
In life, we can only truly rely on ourselves to be there, so depending on external factors or people is a bit of a wobbly plank to walk! Happiness comes from within, so try dating yourself and making the brilliant you your new best friend.
Take yourself out for coffee, or go and see that movie because you want to see it now and don’t want to wait a few weeks until someone else is free to go with you. Join a club, start a solo hobby, or be really bold and brave and maybe even consider taking yourself on holiday (if and when you can)! Start small and practise your way up – in order to really love ourselves, we’ve got to be OK with our own company.
How To Love Yourself More: Do What You Say You'll Do
How many times have you said/thought “I should really do that…”, “I think doing that would benefit me…” or “I want to do that.” and then not done it?
Building self confidence and self respect comes through doing what we know we want to do or promise we’ll do for ourselves because we know it will benefit our wellbeing and happiness. By setting small goals and achieving them, your brain actually gives you a hit of dopamine (the happy hormone!) too!
Begin to implement integrity into your life and not only can it literally make you happier, it also encourages that all important self-respect and self-love. Start with a to-do list and let yourself feel the pride when you tick things off, even if it’s something simple like an everyday chore. You did it, and now there’s more time to do the things you really want to do and bring you joy, without the shadow of the chore in the background!
This Valentine’s Day, learn how to fall in love with yourself once more by putting in place some of these small, yet brave changes to your everyday outlook and life. Your future self will thank you for it, and you will be back on the road to loving yourself again once more.